Pictures of you. Pictures of me.

You know what's scary? Seeing a picture of yourself with a person that's dead. You remember the day the picture was taken. You remember how you felt. You remember that person. And all of a sudden you realize that person is gone and you can't just take another picture. And you just stare at that picture looking at that person realizing how flawless and perfect that person was and that she won't smile the same way ever again. But then again you start smiling because you know there's an Angel in heaven watching over you and smiling brighter and happier than ever before.

I love you for ever.

Shannon ♥

In honor of...

Mary Jane Halterman

About two weeks ago, on 19th of April, heaven gained an angel: Mary. My host mom, my second mom, as I like to call her, lost her battle against cancer.

The day I left America I hugged Mary for the last time, hoping it wouldn't be the last one. But it was. Cancer won. Cancer took away a loving grand-mother, a great mother and a wonderful woman from her family and friends. I still can't believe that she's gone. Gone forever. But I know that one day I will meet her again.
It took me about a week to realise that I will never hear her beautiful voice or her laugh ever again but I will keep all our great memories we had together in my heart.
She might be gone but she will always have a special place in my heart.
Not only did she teach me to have faith in everything I do, she also taught me that every day is a blessing. She gave so much and had a great heart. She helped everyone and never said no to anyone in need.

"Live every day like it's your last."

The night before she died I had a really weird dream: I was sitting next to Mary, crying and telling her that she will never see my children grow up or that she won't be able to come to my wedding. Her answer made me cry even more: "Don't worry, I'll be always be with you." I never knew a dream could be this real. Anyway, when I woke up I heard the shocking news.. All I could think of was: "She's in a better place now and will always watch over us."

What I have to say about cancer: Screw you and I hope you have to suffer the same way you make millions of people suffer each and every day!

June 12, 1955 - April 19, 2014

Mary, I love you so much and I will never forget you!

In Memory

It broke our hearts to lose you,

but you did not go alone.

A part of us went with you,

the day God took you home.

If tears could build a stairway, 

and heartaches make a lane,

we'd walk our way to heaven,

and bring you back again.

In life we loved you dearly,

in death we love you still,

in our hearts you hold a place

no one could ever fill.

Shannon ♥